The Lighter Side of Kidolences
All change is not created equal, and every child is unique. For less-threatening and more-commonplace change, we offer the lighter side of Kidolences. Our Lighter Side boxes serve the same purpose as all of our boxes: to model a developmentally appropriate, attuned, and affirming response to a child’s experience of loss or change.
As any parent can tell you, giving up a pacifier or welcoming a new sibling can be challenging, frustrating, confusing and sometimes even scary for kids (not to mention the adults who love them). While we anticipate that these events are ultimately good for the child’s development, they nevertheless threaten the status quo and can throw a family’s balance out of whack.
The research and clinically-based tenets at the core of Kidolences’ philosophy can apply to all kinds of loss or change- no matter how big or small. Additionally, our Lighter Side boxes take advantage of other tried and true methods to activate children’s resilience in the face of change.
Specifically, these boxes rely on what else we know about kids:
Kids like to know their role.
When families grow and change, children are forced to adjust to an entirely new understanding of their place in the family. Adults can help by taking every opportunity to recognize the child’s individuality and affirming their unique place of importance.
Kids like jobs.
While it may seem counter-intuitive, any teacher or parent can tell you that kids love to work (if its work they're good at). Most children will jump at the chance to help with tasks they can successfully complete and will revel in the praise it garners them, building confidence and competence.
Kids like growing.
They love to experience themselves as big, and to embrace their ever-increasing skill set. Efforts to mark their growth and reflect on how far they’ve come promote healthy development and encourage continued progress.
Kids seek clear boundaries.
Every parent has experienced the push-pull that is negotiating with children. A clear boundary that is drawn with the help of ceremony or ritual helps both kids and adults who love them avoid confusing back-and-forths or mixed messages.
Kids get comfort from objects.
Since the beginning of time, young children have become attached to comforting things. In psychology, we call these things transitional objects: they provide comfort as the child gradually transitions from dependence to independence. Some transitional objects are safer or healthier or more socially-acceptable than others. Adults can help steer children to appropriate transitional objects while maintaining a respect for them as important tools for the child’s sense of safety and security.
With our BYE BYE BINKIE and SUDDENLY SIBLING BOXES, Kidolences keeps our Promises and strives to bring kids comfort and peace.