Blog — Kidolences Origin

What James Can Teach Us About Responding To A Friend’s Bad News

Advice for Grandparents Advice for Parents Blog Post Dr Emily McClatchey Kidolences Blog Kidolences Origin Professional Help

What James Can Teach Us About Responding To A Friend’s Bad News

The question hit the target. He didn’t ask, “how are you?” because he intuitively understood that my diagnosis wasn’t just about me. It was about his friend, my husband. It was about our three young children. And in that moment, I understood that it was about our larger circle of friends and community, too. The collective “we” communicated that he was in it with us, invested in the outcome. What a heartwarming message.

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On Tidying Up My Cancer

Advice for Parents Blog Post Children and Loss Dr Emily McClatchey Kidolences Blog Kidolences Origin Understanding Death

On Tidying Up My Cancer

Harrowing journeys have a way of distilling life to the essence: what is meaningful and joyful. Marie Kondo’s promise to help clear all which does not bring joy offered the perfect tool for me. With her step-wise guidance, I could assert control and order, clearing clutter and making way for joy. Once the process is completed, all that remains is what is truly meaningful and joyful in life--the rest can be discarded. 

Now I have breast cancer and am facing a full year of treatment following my surgery. It's time again to clear the clutter and become laser-focused. Maniacally get all the inconsequential knickknacks out of the way; I must tidy up. Distill life to make way for what’s truly meaningful and important. 

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Finding My Oxygen

Advice for Grandparents Advice for Parents Advice for sick children Blog Post Children and Loss Dr Emily McClatchey How do we talk to children about death Kidolences Blog Kidolences Origin Talking to Children

Finding My Oxygen

A few months ago, I launched an enterprise aimed to help children enduring challenging times: the death of a loved one, a major life change, or a family member's illness. I also wrote a guide to explore and underscore the tenets that lie at the heart of my endeavors, explaining what kids need in trying times, why they need it, and how we can give it to them. My research on this subject took the better part of a year; the philosophy was a lifetime of experience and schooling in the making. When I finished my guide and blogged it,...

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You are Not an Afterthought

Advice for Grandparents Advice for Parents Advice for sick children Blog Post Children and Loss Dr Emily McClatchey How do we talk to children about death Kidolences Blog Kidolences Origin Professional Help Talking to Children Understanding Death

Oxygen masks have become an oft-referenced analogy in coping: your first order of business is to take care of yourself so that you can properly attend to children. For the sake of yourself and the sake of children in your life, please don’t neglect yourself. Take time to pay attention to your own psychological health. Give yourself permission to grieve and to mourn. By attending to your own needs in times of crisis, you are not only maintaining a stable base for the children in your life, you are also modeling self-care and healthy coping. That is another priceless gift you offer to children.

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A Guide on How to Help Kids Cope with a Broken Heart

Advice for Grandparents Advice for Parents Blog Post Children and Loss Dr Emily McClatchey How do we talk to children about death Kidolences Blog Kidolences Origin Professional Help Talking to Children Understanding Death

A Guide on How to Help Kids Cope with a Broken Heart

I had a PhD, a body of research focused on childhood trauma and recovery, and a decade of clinical experience helping kids deal and heal, yet I was now at a total loss. It was as if I spent half of my life preparing for and helping others navigate terrain such as this, but when it was my turn, I froze. It is true that there are simply things in life you can never prepare for, no matter how hard you work. 

I know now from my research and experience that there is consensus among experts and parents about a few basic tried and true tenets for helping kids cope with grief, loss and change. I've boiled them down for my own personal use with my children, for the next crisis, big or small, that will inevitably occur. It occurred to me that this is helpful for me, it might be helpful for you, too. 

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