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Kids Crave Ritual: Part Two
Advice for Grandparents Advice for Parents Blog Post Children and Loss Dr Emily McClatchey How do we talk to children about death Kidolences Blog Kids Need Ritual Professional Help Talking to Children Understanding Death
Funerals are but one of many ceremonies our society has created to honor life’s passages. We don’t think twice about including our children in other important ceremonies, from birthdays to weddings to anniversaries. In many such celebratory events we even give children an important and central role to play. Why not funerals?
Kids Crave Ritual: Part One
Advice for Grandparents Advice for Parents Blog Post Children and Loss Dr Emily McClatchey Kidolences Blog Kids Need Ritual Professional Help Talking to Children Understanding Death
Headline events such as weddings and funerals create an obvious need for a ceremony, but there are plenty of other opportunities in children’s lives that call for rituals like moving to a new house, ending a school year, giving up a pacifier or becoming a big brother or sister.
As any parent can tell you, these times of change can be challenging, frustrating, confusing and sometimes even scary for kids (not to mention the adults who love them). Even when a change is due to a positive milestone or ultimately good for a child’s development, children may experience the change as a loss of what had been. This is because all of these events threaten the child’s status quo and can throw a family’s balance out of whack, making rituals especially important.
Kids Feel Real Pain
Advice for Grandparents Advice for Parents Advice for sick children Blog Post Children and Loss Dr Emily McClatchey How do we talk to children about death Kidolences Blog Kids Need Ritual Professional Help Talking to Children Understanding Death
In times of stress for children, it is crucial to help them maintain healthy and adaptive coping strategies. At these times, you might notice an increase in aches, pains, and nebulous boo boos. Appetites may markedly change. Sleep habits can shift. Stomachaches and headaches become more common. Children may act out aggression, anxiety, and sadness through their bodies. All of these symptoms are very real and should be treated as such; they are not simply ploys to garner attention.
Kids Tell Their Stories
Advice for Grandparents Advice for Parents Blog Post Children and Loss Dr Emily McClatchey How do we talk to children about death Kidolences Blog Professional Help Talking to Children Understanding Death
Children are naturally drawn to stories and storytelling. Storytelling creates cohesion and fosters understanding. Allowing children the freedom to tell their stories gives them a sense of self-competence and confidence as they face challenges. By becoming authors of their own experience, children can regain a sense of control and understanding following loss. Journaling, drawing, creating and communicating with others about loss promotes healing from grief and honors the child’s relationship with that which has been lost.
Kids Struggle To Understand: Part Two
Advice for Grandparents Advice for Parents Blog Post Children and Loss Dr Emily McClatchey How do we talk to children about death Kidolences Blog Professional Help Talking to Children Understanding Death
If we refuse to talk to children about death, or we somehow signal that we must remain silent about loss, we are doing a disservice to the child and missing an opportunity to help them understand and make sense. Rather than explore what to avoid, let’s talk about proactive steps you can take to help your kids understand death.